Sample script:
The world can be a harsh place for children who have weak social skills. Bullies and teasers can spot them from a mile away.
Teasing is when someone says or does something to you that bothers you and he keeps doing it, even though he knows you don’t like it. Teasing often means that we have excluded others, when we know that he or she would like to join us.
What is Bullying? Bullying as the act of being violent or threatening violence towards another. Teasing can turn to bullying in an instant! Bullying could include taking or damaging one’s personal property or threatening over the internet.
Why do they tease/bully? Typically, they are seeking power, control, and attention, although there are other possible reasons. He will repeat this negative behavior as long as he sees it bothers this child.
What can you do:
BODY LANGUAGE and EYE CONTACT – Your body language tells a lot about you. If someone is teasing you, and your body says “I’m afraid”, the teaser is more likely to keep doing it. Try holding your shoulders back to allow very straight posture, hold your head high, and face your harasser. Imagine a straight line going from both your shoulders to his. If you are diverting your eyes, it tells the teaser that you are afraid. Look him straight in the eye! This tells him that you are standing up to him.
ZINGERS – Now that you are using good body language what do you say? Here are some zingers for you to practice. Say them with FEELING:
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Quit it.
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I don’t have to take this.
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Save your energy.
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So???
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Thanks for noticing!!
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Or try Humor (It can be very effective if you are comfortable using it). It can often take the teaser off-guard.
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Try “I” statements. “I feel ____ when you say/do this. Please stop.”
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We all have challenges. What are yours?
INVISIBLE SHIELD – Even when the target of teasing uses these strategies, being teased does not feel good. Imagine a shield or dome all around you when a teaser starts to bother you. Like an umbrella that stops the rain, this “shield” won’t allow the mean words to reach you.
Taking it a step further, imagine the hurtful words hitting the outside of their shield and shattering like glass, or going up in smoke. Another idea is to picture the teasing words disappearing into thin air or blowing up.
WALK AWAY – Once you have used eye contact and strong body language, and said one zinger, Walk Away! If you stay there after he says his zinger, he will usually still be teased.
Now, we are going to practice this: Pretend that you were the teaser. Have the kids stand up and and practice the posture. Have them fold their arms over their chests and say “quit it”or “stop”and walk away.
More Teasing Role Play
(Have one volunteer or student come up to the front and call the other volunteer a few names. The second volunteer should look really upset and put his or her head down and walk away. Ask the students how that looked — “victim,” “beaten down,” etc., etc.)
(Then repeat the exercise, and when the volunteer or student calls the second volunteer a name, the second volunteer uses positive body language. Stand up straight and face the person, look them in the eye and say “I don’t like what you are saying. You are not being respectful.” And walk away “walking tall.” Ask the students how that was different.)
(Encourage students to use positive body language and words in a non-confrontational way when they are being harassed.) People tease because it makes them feel tall and the other person feel small. If they don’t make you small they will eventually give up.
(Some leaders have engaged each student for a few seconds. Each student stands tall, looks the leader in the eye, and says an “I” message. For example, “I don’t like when you call me stupid.” This helps each student experience how they can respond to teasing. Very effective.)
I want you to remember that whenever you see someone else being hurt and you stand by and do nothing, you are part of the problem. What should you do?? Use positive body language and words: “Don’t do that – you are not being respectful.” This WILL make a big difference. It will make a difference if one of you take a stand and do this. Can you imagine how powerful it would be if ten of you did this? Or if twenty of you did this?!?